monster sarcasm rally

Deja vu

One year ago I planned a trip to Toronto to clean up my house. On the 30th of October my grandmother died. I had to change my trip to go to Sarnia, 300 km outside of Toronto in the middle of nowhere for the funeral. This kicked off 6 months of awful, beginning with me spending 10 days in hospital, where they misdiagnosed me and treated me like the needle-sharing junkie whore they thought I was.

Fast forward one year.

I am in Toronto to clean up my house for sale. On the 30th of October my grandmother died. I have to change my trip to go to Sarnia for the funeral.

I don't think there will be anymore trips to Toronto for me.

Unfortunate typo

A colleague had a question for me. He sent a message saying 'would you mind pooping over here?'

Yes, actually I do mind. I mind very much.

Why I hate project management, part 4

Conversation 1
Initiative Manager: Are your teams almost finished the dev work?
Me: No, they won’t assign anybody to do the dev work until the business communicates that this is a top priority. I’m seeing the business guy tomorrow. I’ll remind him to let the app managers know this.
Initiative Manager’s Boss: Please forward us the meeting invite to us for the Prioritisation Meeting with the business you told us you were having tomorrow. The prioritisation needs to be settled. We have to get together to communicate about [yadda yadda management jargon yadda].
Me: The prioritisation is settled. He just needs to communicate [blah blah blah tactful dancing around the issue blah].
Initiative Manager’s Boss: [sings Chic’s biggest hit at me]
 * Later *
Business Guy: Shut up. Just do not speak to people.
Me: Right. Sorry. So, can you please communicate with the app managers?
Business Guy: Frak off.

 

Conversation 2
Initiative Manager: Sars, I need you confirm with BG that he will support [blah blah blah].
Me (thinking, that seems weird): BG, IM asked me to ask you to confirm that you’ll support this.
BG: No, frak her. Tell her there’s no frakking way.
Me (to IM): I’m sorry, perhaps I’m confused. You asked me to confirm with BG that he could support this. But what exactly is it that you want him to do?
IM: No! Everybody knows that’s not his job. You cannot go bothering him with this. I told you to ask each of the individual app managers if they could support this.

 

Conversation 3
Me (to app managers): Please could each of you confirm that you can support this.
App managers (collectively): Frak off. That’s not our job. Go talk to the people in Capacity Planning.

 

Weird / not weird

The office kitchen smells strongly of incense. Which strikes me as a strange thing for an office kitchen to smell of.  

Also, I hate people.

Weird celebrity sighting

Velcro Dog just tried to attack Katherine Parkinson — Jen from the IT Crowd. She actually ran out of the post office screaming.

Texting and scones

Oh, they're flirting. Do I have to watch this? How much do I love this episode... Also, those skulls are unbelievably creepy. Doctor who?

Ode to this afternoon

Wise men say
Only fools rush in,
But I can't help falling asleep at my desk.

Shall I nap?
Would it be a sin,
That I can't help falling asleep on my keyboard?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Actually, I should probably do some crap, seeing as my job may be in jeopardy.