Saturday. 14:00.
She absolutely insisted we HAD to go to Wick because that's where her great grandfather was born. When I said it was inconvenient, she said it was fine in a way that told me it was anything but fine.
So I booked everything: flight, trains, hotel... This involved booking and paying for flights to Inverness, 3 nights in a nice hotel, and train tickets from Inverness to Wick (4.5 hours each way). Throw in assorted cab fares, train tickets, restaurant meals, etc. Well, it adds up.
Upon our arrival in I asked 'now what?'
She didn't know.
So now we're at Wetherspoons. For those of you who don't know, Wetherspoons is like... Well, it's... Hmm... Er... Imagine if Swiss Chalet and the Whatever & Firkin pub chain got married and spawned thousands of resto-pub offspring.
Saturday. 15:55.
I am sitting on an unmoving train in the arse end of nowhere listening to an obese woman ineffectually harangue her two small children in the squeakiest, most grating voice imaginable. As near as i can tell, the children are engaged in quiet, peaceable playing.
Sunday. 08:25.
My mother has just finished complaining that she's too hot. I've thrown cardigans and jackets in a tote bag for later in case it gets chilly, as we're doing a Loch Ness cruise today.
S: Alright, let's go.
M: Okay, I'll just put my cardigan on.
S: You've just been complaining that you're too hot. Why are you putting another layer on now?
M: Because I'm wearing all black. I can't go out in all black.
S: ?
M: I'd look ridiculous. I have to have some colour. I can't wear nothing but black.
S: That's absurd. Let's go.
M: Okay, I'll just change my clothes. I'll meet you downstairs.
Sunday. 09:10.
We just asked our taxi driver where to go for breakfast. And That's how we came to find ourselves in (you guessed it) Wetherspoons!
Sigh.
Sunday. 21:35.
Oh, good grief. My mum's got me watching some show. A man just said to the lead female character, 'what happened between us was just so... (sobs) precious.'
PRECIOUS!
Oh man! I'm sorry (again) that your pain is so hilarious to read about.
Posted by: Lisa in Berlin | Monday, 20 June 2011 at 08:39