In search of church

I don't want to go into the reasons, but I need to leave the church I've gone to for more than four years. It's time to move on. I've been avoiding this for a while now.

The problem is that this means it's time to go on the search. I don't like this part. I'm an oddball; I know I am. I don't fit in anywhere. But I don't blend into the background either. I tend to stand out, and not necessarily in a good way.

To top it off, I'm incredibly, painfully awkward around strangers. Not shy, really. Shy would be better. Shy would let me fade into the crowd. No, I'm awkward. Open-my-mouth-and-just-let-the-stupid-flow awkward. So the search can be painful.

I grew up in a small-c conservative, white, middle-class non-denominational church. Come to think of it, it was actively big-C Conservative too. Stockwell Day been there on occasion. Anyways, the point of that is that I don't understand denominations and how they work.

In my life, I've been to a wide variety of churches: Anglican, Baptist, Pentecostal, United, Jehovah's Witnesses, Church of Christ, that one that's always full of Germans, Catholic, etc.

A few years ago, I was going to a church full of pissed off little old ladies in large hats. They had great music and an exceptionally good pastor. They also had a bit of an attitude problem, or something. I was a head taller than everybody else in the small congregation and one of only three white people. Every single week somebody would admonish me for not raising my hand when they asked if anybody was there for the first time. Every week! And nearly every week somebody would say, oh, you must be here with Daniel. Daniel being the white guy, of course...

I also found that I couldn't sit near the back of the sanctuary, because it was impossible to hear the sermon over all the little old ladies grumbling about what the pastor was doing wrong.

A friend told me she'd heard of a church she'd like to try. She described it as a cool, new Catholic church where the priests are young and hip and they play rap music.

Wow, I said. That is so not my thing, but sure... I'll go with you. Once.

Of course, the church in question was the one with the incredibly stupid name. I still maintain that it's just not smart to name your church anything that rhymes with sodomise, especially if it's a made-up, stupid word. Anyways... The church wasn't Catholic. It was full of youthful energy and artsy hippies. And there was no rap until after I'd been going for several years. Ya, my 'once' turned into four plus years.

Unfortunately for me, I don't belong. Like I said... There are reasons I'm not going into. But I'm going to write about my search, borrowing (read: blatantly stealing) the Mystery 'Shipper questionaire from Ship of Fools.

It should provide you all with endless hours of entertainment at my expense. But that's what I'm here for.

Comments

[Jamie]

hey ... i shall send you an email.

[lisa]

yes!!

I mean...SAD that you want to leave Sodomize, BUT at least I'm not the only one navigating the awkward seas of church searching. Actually I was wondering whether a whole blog dedicated to church sampling would be genius or offensive.

Anyways, At least YOU speak the same language as the churches you'll be visiting. Oh wait...that's not necessarily true.

ps, I recommend the one that's always full of Germans, though you'd have an easier time with that in Illinois or Minnesota, I suppose.

[lisa]

ps, "If you aint Lutheran, you aint shit."

it's on a T-shirt.

[Rachel]

For various reasons, I'm also leaving the church with the weird name - but I'm not church shopping in Toronto. I decided to take the opportunity (since I was leaving the church anyway) to get the heck out of this city and have an affair with Boston. There's a church there that I know will fit me better.

Best of luck with your church search!

[mr wind-up bird]

yes, searching for a church... i am somewhat surprised that you have made this decision... but... perhaps more importantly... why the sheep?

[Jam]

I am always skeptical of moving churches... I am not a big fan of christianity/"the church machine" but I tolerant it because it irks me and forces me to grow.

Church shopping is hard because I always say that "you shouldn't judge a church by it's sermon"
I don't see church as the actually Sunday mass event but rather as a community worship and lifestyle - it's the main reason I love "sodomise" well because we sodomise well - oh shit did I just say that?

jam

[Jam]

I am always skeptical of moving churches... I am not a big fan of christianity/"the church machine" but I tolerant it because it irks me and forces me to grow....etc

Church shopping is hard because I always say that "you shouldn't judge a church by it's sermon"
I don't see church as the actually Sunday mass event but rather as a community worship and lifestyle - it's the main reason I love "sodomise" well because we sodomise well - oh shit did I just say that?

Best of luck shopping and I will be meditating for your success.

jam

[leah]

Man, I had a REDICULOUS time trying to find a church in this city. I think a blog dedicated to church shopping is in order. I found my home at Sodomize, but it took me years to actually find it. A blog would have helped me to steer clear of all the crazies I stumbled upon. And lets face it, the crazies are dangerous.