The players: Sarcastrix, New Chick and an extra from a bad 1970s porn
The setting: Subway Sandwiches
New Chick: Hi. Can I get a [whatever] sub, please?
70s: [Eyes both women up and down. A knowing grin spreads across his face like I Can't Believe It's Not Butter on a slice of Wonder Bread.] Sure. And for your friend?
Sars: [Wipes grease from her aura] Er... Nothing. Please.
70s: [Smirks, and lets his eyes ooze back towards New Chick] Okay. What would you like on that?
New Chick: Um... Tomatoes. Onions. Pickles.
70s: [Places one teensy little pickle sliver in the centre of the sandwich]
New Chick: Could I get a few more pickles, please?
70s: [Makes cup shape with hand. Places it directly into the pickle bucket. Pulls out a man-fist-sized wad of pickle slices. Dumps mound in middle of sanwich. Moves on.]
Sars: [Lifts hand to face in vain attempt to cover laughter]
New Chick: Some olives. Extra mayo.
70s: [Smirks. Raises eyebrows. Eyes the Sarcastrix. Turns back to New Chick.] I know why your friend is laughing.
New Chick: Who is? What?
70s: Your friend. She is laughing. I know. I understand.
Sars: [Bites down on tongue to keep from laughing out loud.]
New Chick: What? Why?
70s: [Eyes stray back to the Sarcastrix as he responds to New Chick.] Girls like pickles.
Sars: [Spits vodka out her nose*.]
70s: [Reaches into pickle bucket. Lifts a single pickle slice and holds it aloft, moving it towards the Sarcastrix.] Here.
Sars: [Eyes as wide as dinner plates.] Er... No.
70s: Go on.
70s: [Shrugs. Lifts fingers to mouth. Eats pickle. Returns to making New Chick's sandwich.]
Sars: [Throws up on New Chick's shoes.]
*Well, she would if she had any.