My purpose in life

Once upon a time (the somethingth of October in the year of our Lord 2004), in a land far, far away (about half a metre to the east), I wrote a post.

Today, for your reading enjoyment, I repeat that post on account of the fact that I am angry and bitter. And now, without further ado, on with the rant...

_________________________________

Dear executives and uppity assistants,

It has come to my attention that the editing process is considered tiresome. Several of you have pointed out the numerous flaws inherent in the system. In order to accommodate your wishes and whims, I hereby institute an entirely new set of procedures.

The Old Way
1. You submit your report to me.
2. I spend hours reading it and making changes.
3. I return your document for your perusal.
4. You go through the document, unmaking all my changes.
5. You submit the document to publishing.

The New Way
1. You submit your report to me.
2. I write meaningless blog entries, surf the internet, read fantasy stories, and practise writing GMAT tests.
3. I return the untouched file to you with a comment telling you how wonderful it is. Once in a while I'll add a comment about how reading your document changed my life.
4. You feel good about yourself and your skills as a writer.
5. You submit the document to publishing.

Clearly, the New Way has numerous advantages over the Old Way. We will all (except the Ferengi, but she's chronically cranky) have less work to do. We will all feel better about ourselves, thus enhancing our sense of self worth. Additionally, since the New Way takes less time to complete, all parties will have more time to spend focusing on the things in life that really matter, like the current market value of our investments.

With all sincerity and congeniality,
The Sarcastrix

Comments

[Mishka]

Sounds like a plan, especially if they aren't using your edits...why waste your time?

[Kelly]

And, further to Mishka's point, why waste valuable internet time?