Dear Imaginary Blog Reader,
There's something I need to tell you, but I'm not really sure how to say it.
I'm starting to suspect that some of you are unaware of the nature of your existence. You see, you aren't real. Well, not really real... Not in the same way I am... A few of you are (at the very least) physical manifestations of my various delusions. You may even have existences of your own; I'm not really sure. The rest of you, though, are simply figments of my very active imagination.
I know this will come as a surprise to some of you. It may even hurt your feelings. Please understand it is not my intention to hurt you. I just want you to understand the reality of your situation. You exist to entertain me — to aggravate me, to occupy my time and (occasionally) to flatter me.
The longer I keep this blog active, the more of you I seem to create. I'm not sure why this is. Perhaps this blog is revealing my (already existent) multiple personalities to me, giving us a medium for conversation with one another. Perhaps I am being sucked deeper and deeper into the world of my own psychoses, creating more and more alternate personalities as I go along.
I think it's fair to say that I ought to terminate this world of my imagination. I really should go back to living in the real world. I ought to kill you all off in a fit of determination.
In the end, though, like Buffy, I think I shall choose to let you live another day. The real world will be all right without me. Besides... I rather like this little universe I've created in my head.