I saw the sign
In a nearby shop... Children left unattended will be given an espresso and a free puppy.
Saturday, 19 July 2008
Tuesday, 15 July 2008
Who needs House when you've got this guy...
Polite New Guy to me: Are you feeling any better?
Me to PNG: A bit better, ya. Thanks.
Bobble-headed Moron: Oh, so you actually were sick yesterday? [I guess he thought I just couldn't be bothered coming in.]
Me: Yes, I was sick all weekend.
PNG: That sucks. What did you have?
Me: A flu of some sort.
BHM: Don't you know that flu season's over?
Me: Well, yes, but I have the flu all the same.
BHM: I'm sure you just had a cold. Why would you think it was the flu?
Me: Well, for starters, you don't generally have a fever with a cold.
BHM: Oh, you had a cold plus a fever.
Me: And what caused this fever?
BHM: It was just a fever.
Me: I see. But what caused it?
BHM: Nothing. Just a cold plus a fever. That's all. That's what you had.
Monday, 07 July 2008
Not a domestic bone in my body
I made a fire in the kitchen. Yes, again.
Shut up.
I took it as a sign from God that I should order delivery.
The voice mail I'd love to leave
Hi, Mimi, it's Sars. Listen, I know you're busy inserting your head into the new bossman's arse, but I just wanted to let you know that you're a backstabbing bitch. I'm not sure if you knew that already, but I wanted to bring it to your attention just in case.
Anyways, you have a super day. It would sure be a shame if you got run over by a bus.
Bye!
Thursday, 03 July 2008
Shhh... it's a secret
It's weird. I mean, he's weird. And, well, he's kinda gross. I mean was. He was gross. And he definitely wasn't good looking. But John Belushi had a weird kind of sexy going on.
Ya, I'm that disturbed.
Animal House is on TV.
Firguratively euphemising
The excrement has hit the cooling device.
Saturday, 28 June 2008
Happy drunking
So just to cap off an already less-than-stellar day, I got a lecture from Peter the Zealot.
The reason the Bossman doesn't treat me like a real assistant is because I'm not. Real assistants work 16 hours a day, everyday. Real assistants work every weekend, all weekend. Clearly, I haven't been in this industry long enough to understand how it really works. Perhaps it's time I considered a new career, because obviously I'm not cut out for this one.
President's Choice new 'Memories of Mrs Elton' sauce...
Sunday, 22 June 2008
Thursday, 12 June 2008
Blah
Work sucks. School is hard. Life is boring.
In other news... I want to go to Croatia.
Wednesday, 04 June 2008
My boss came over to my desk to talk to me about something. He paused when he noticed the book lying on my desk. I had been reading it on my way in.
Dark, Dreamy Dexter? What exactly are you reading?
He thought I was reading a girly romance novel! Ugh. I had to clear my name. I mean, that just wouldn't do. It's about a serial killer. Bossman raised one of his eyebrows at me. Like he was probably thinking: a romance novel about a serial killer? He's the main character; you're supposed to like him.
Bossman started in with the concerned father routine.
No, it's okay. He only kills bad people.
Bossman turned to the guy who sits next to me. The two of them shared a couple minutes' worth of horror and dismay (with just a hint of mockery) at what is clearly a sign of something deeply wrong with my personality.
When Bossman walked away my co-worker said hey, how's the book? The TV show's pretty good.
