I'm a fraud.
So, lately I've developed a pathetic pattern of showing people my new nipple piercing whenever I've had a few drinks — which is often. In the past two weeks I've shown six people, three of whom I'd never met before. Seriously, it lacks any kind of class.
Anyways, recently I was out with a friend. I told her that my co-worker hadn't been able to look me in the eye since I got drunk and showed him my tits in the men's toilet. She screamed, 'no, don't show him! You can just tell by looking at that guy that he's never seen a boob before. Not since his mother'.
I laughed and told her she was being horrible. What an awful thing to say about a 30-year-old man! Of course it's not true.
I am such a fraud.
I keep expecting that somebody will notice and tell everybody else and then they'll all shun me. Somehow I've fallen in with the cool kids. And they think I'm one of them.
How is it that nobody's figured me out yet?