Pathetic, unclassy fraud

I'm a fraud.

So, lately I've developed a pathetic pattern of showing people my new nipple piercing whenever I've had a few drinks — which is often. In the past two weeks I've shown six people, three of whom I'd never met before. Seriously, it lacks any kind of class.

Anyways, recently I was out with a friend. I told her that my co-worker hadn't been able to look me in the eye since I got drunk and showed him my tits in the men's toilet. She screamed, 'no, don't show him! You can just tell by looking at that guy that he's never seen a boob before. Not since his mother'.

I laughed and told her she was being horrible. What an awful thing to say about a 30-year-old man! Of course it's not true.

I am such a fraud.

I keep expecting that somebody will notice and tell everybody else and then they'll all shun me. Somehow I've fallen in with the cool kids. And they think I'm one of them.

How is it that nobody's figured me out yet?

Comments

[Tom]

Calm yourself down. You're not a fraud. Maybe a bit inexperienced, but not a fraud.
It appears that you're still technically a virgin and you've had a nipple piercing. That is a big deal in itself.
You're simply an adult struggling with issues we all stuggled with. Just, a lot of us did it at a lot younger age than you are.
You're fine. Relax. Now that you're at the cool kids table, enjoy it. You avoided it for years. Now, learn that you can be one of the cook kids.

[Meghan]

I'm casting a new docuseries for a major cable network about virgins who are willing to talk about it! I'd love to chat with you about this show to see if it's something you would be interested in! PLEASE EMAIL ME: meghanmcdaniel@gmail.com

[yo]

pics or gtfo

[30yroldvirgintoo]

I just found your blog and love it! I was a 30 yr old virgin until just yesterday. I just....gave up. Anyway, that whole "feeling like a fraud" was the story of my life. It got to the point where even when I would tell ppl I was a virgin, they wouldnt belive me! I didnt make a big deal about losing it, and really didn't put more than 10 seconds of thought into it when it came down to it- and would you know that when we were done and I told him, the guy didn't even believe me either! HA! It's not your fault that ppl have a twisted view of what it means to be a virgin. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of this blog!