Previously on the 30-year-old virgin... (subtitled: lessons gleaned from yesterday's examples)
Men (on the whole) want to be protectors and providers. While they do not want wives who are stupid or lazy, they also do not want women who are too much smarter than they are or more ambitious than they are. In short, average is ideal.
I, on the other hand, am far from average.
Let's start out with physical matters. At 5'10" (178 cm), I'm nearly six inches (15 cm) taller than the average Canadian female. This puts me in approximately the top 99th percentile for women my age. At 125 pounds (55 kg), I'm well below average weight.
I also have a decided tendency towards choices that deviate from societal norms. Hello. Virgin? I'm a Mac user. I drive standard and hate automatic. You won't find any beige, cream or eggshell coloured paint anywhere in my house.
I live to be the anti-proof to any stereotype that might otherwise apply to me. I always want to build my own road. I...
...am an eclectic (but consistent) mix of left- and right-wing politics.
...am a Christian, but am really put off by the happy-clappy types.
...am a strict vegetarian and oddly pro-hunting.
...am a sci-fi-loving geek, but I'm a girl! (Apparently some people still think that's unusual.)
...am decidedly extroverted, but can be very shy.
...love being in the heart of downtown or the absolute middle of nowhere, and hate everything in between.
...want to take life as it comes and let it unfold the way it ought to, but I'm far too neurotic to actually sit back and let things be.
...think everything's a joke, but still take it all far too seriously.
I hate being dependent on anybody for anything. I can't imagine living off anybody else's money. In fact, this is so deeply engrained in my subconscious that only once in all my years have I ever gone out with a man who made more money than I did. Once. Just the thought of it makes me twitchy.
I am physically strong, and more than happy to demonstrate it to anybody who doubts me. The pastor at our church has a rule that women shouldn't carry big heavy things like the speakers we use for our services, because it might damage their wombs. I can feel myself getting tense just typing that. We take turns putting everything away after the services. Whenever it's my turn, you'd better believe I carry the speakers.
I hate cooking. Hate, hate, hate. I'm practical enough that I do cook when necessary, but you're not going to get me to like it. Another blogger recently said:
'I had a date this weekend and asked from the guy about the paying thing and he said he considers it perfectly normal that he pays for me. "It's my pleasure and I don't even really think about it, it's natural" was what he said. He also said that if i want to treat him i should invite him to my place and cook a dinner'.
Yes, just '!'. When I first read that, every muscle in my body involuntarily clenched. The assumptions in that statement make my blood boil. He's asserting his place as provider and relegating her to the kitchen. I commented that if a man ever said that to me on a date, I'd just get up and walk out. I probably wouldn't though. I'd assume it was sarcasm and treat it as such.
As sarcasm, I love that sort of statement. If a man can look me in the eye and say that sort of thing without cracking a smile, my blood starts to boil in a whole different kind of way. A man who's not afraid to verbally attack me just for fun? One who won't back down when I throw it back in his face? Now that's a man for me! But, um... I digress.
Now, she later clarified that they had previously discussed her cooking abilities, so he was not making quite the assumption I initially thought. The assumption still exists that he's in a better position to pay for a nice meal than she is, though.
Dowd's article quoted statistics that for every 16-point rise in IQ, a woman is 40% less likely to marry. By my calculations, that makes me 70% less likely to get married than the average woman.
I'm different. I like being different. I intend to continue being different, come what may.
These are all parts of me that I like, but that (unfortunately) do not bode well for my chances of getting married. There are other aspects of my personality that work even less in my favour than these do (parts that even I don't like), but I'll save those for part three.